The recipe for a fulfilling life.
Now, as we kick off 2024, many of us are starting our new year’s resolutions. And you may be one of them. Which means you’ve made a firm decision to either stop doing something that keeps you from being the person you want to be, or to begin doing something you’ve been wanting to do for a while.
And that’s because of the duality of nature. We all have self-defeating and self-enhancing behaviors. And to live a fulfilling life, you need to consistently focus on the behaviors that enhance your life and eliminate the behaviors that defeat you.
When it comes to things that can enhance your life, it’s important to fulfill the goals that you strive for. Which means you need to be very clear about what you want, what prevents you from having it, what strong steps you can take to get it, and who can help you.
And there it is, the recipe for a fulfilling life.
1. What do you want?
2. What prevents you from having it?
3. What are some strong steps you can take?
4. Who can help you?
What do you want?
Be very honest about this. Because if you lie to yourself, you’ll head down a road built for someone else.
Many times when we’re faced with this question, our answer is based on what someone else wants for us. But it’s important that the answer is what YOU want. NOT what someone else wants for you.
And it’s equally important not to judge your honest answer. No matter if it seems like the odds are against you, it’s a long shot, or even if it seems impossible or implausible.
Life has a way of surprising us.
What prevents you from having it?
Is it you?
Your inaction?
Your belief that you don’t deserve it or can’t achieve it?
Negative self-talk?
Is it someone else?
A voice from your past or present that says you can’t?
Someone who stands in your way?
Is it a lack of . . .
Money?
Time?
Network?
Knowledge?
Resources?
Whatever prevents you from having what you want, it’s vital to clearly identify it.
What are some strong steps you can take?
These should be STRONG steps. Not BABY steps.
You need to show yourself that you’re not as fragile as you feel and get some serious momentum going toward what you want.
And remember, fear is a normal part of the process. It’s not about eliminating it; it’s about understanding that it’s normal and being able to move through it.
To help identify some strong steps, ask yourself two important questions:
1. What are you willing to do to get what you want?
These are things that you are at full choice to act on. And it may not be easy, but it’ll be worth it.
· Have the conversation.
· Unfollow or block.
· Set boundaries for yourself.
· Set boundaries with others.
· Leave a relationship.
· Leave a job.
· Play the long game.
· Stay consistent.
2. What are you willing to go through to get what you want?
These are not in your control but are potential obstacles you need to identify. Think of it as the storms on the horizon that you know will come.
· Losing friends.
· Losing a relationship.
· Losing a job.
· Heartbreak.
· Doubts.
· Fears.
· Naysayers.
· Sleepless nights.
Who is going to help you?
We get by with a little help from our friends, and some strangers.
Sometimes we get stuck because we lack the experience needed for the next steps. When that happens, find someone with experience; a mentor, an expert, or a specialist, and reach out to them. You never know how one conversation could propel you for a lifetime.
Other times we just need regular encouragement to keep at it. Sharing your goals with trusted voices in your life can have a profound impact on your confidence. People close to you will remind you what you’re headed toward, working for, and how far you’ve come.
And some of our close relationships can act as stakeholders toward our goals. Checking in with us, keeping us honest, and extending a hand when things get challenging or set us back.
So now what?
As you kick off 2024, keep these questions in your tool kit so you can always find a way forward.
1. What do you want?
2. What prevents you from having it?
3. What are some strong steps you can take?
4. Who can help you?
And remember, knowledge ISN’T power. Knowledge with ACTION is power.
Now take what you’ve learned and put it to good use so you can save the life you forgot you wanted.
Ever upward and Happy New Year!