One of my pet peeves is when someone complains about being the one who does more work than anyone else. And this comes up quite a bit.  “Adam, you don’t understand. I have to do all the heavy lifting at work because everyone else is too lazy to do their jobs!” I do understand. You’re telling me that you have a stronger work ethic than those around you. And you’re not willing to compromise your integrity by “phoning it in” and being as lazy as everyone else. Am I right?

Congrats!

Life is going your way, you’re harvesting the fruits of your labor, you wake up excited for the day, and you can’t believe you’re in the place you are!

The warm glow of having your life unfold in beautiful ways has given you renewed energy and a deep well of hope for the future.

Now it’s time to shine some of that light into the darkness, so others who are struggling can see a way out.

And shining that light is a simple three step process.

On the first morning Jamie spoke, I learned a powerful exercise called “Get Empty”. And getting empty means letting go of our fears, anxieties, lies, and dark baggage we carry in exchange for something more beautiful and hopeful. So, give yourself a much-needed break and get somewhere free from distractions, because I’m going to teach you how to get empty.

I want to share something with you that’s very important to me.

I love seeing people discover the best parts of themselves.

That’s because there was a time, I couldn’t see what was great in myself. Which meant I was constantly going through life operating from the idea that I don’t have as much significance, value, or worth, as others.

And when you think like that, you begin to stop dreaming. And instead, simply accept whatever comes your way as good enough.

And after a while, you forget the life you really wanted to live.

So many of you have been sharing with me that 2024 has been full of challenges. Nothing is going your way, or as you expected. Or even, it’s going worse than you imagined. Six months into the year and it feels like you can’t keep up. It feels like you’re never going to make it. And it feels like there’s no way you can win. But that’s not true. Stop believing those lies.

Anxiety is a real bitch.

And it’s an incredibly challenging emotion that takes us out of the present moment and propels us into an imagined future nightmare.

Because that’s what anxiety is all about, the future. And the lack of control that we have over it. Anxiety has the power to not just make us dread the days to come, but it also robs us of the now. We can’t be fully present when we’re focused on what may or may not happen.

But there’s hope.

If you’re not careful, you may become what you feel.

Fusion - (fu·​sion):

1. The act of fusing (or melting) together.

2. An occurrence that involves the production of a union.

3. The state of being combined into one body.

Head trash is the negative stories you tell yourself. It’s the excuses and limiting thoughts that keep you buried in unending rumination about who you’re supposed to be but aren’t. But some of that head trash can be repurposed into something better. Meaning, if you can consistently change the negative stories into hopeful possibilities, you may just find enough light to illuminate the way forward.

Each individual is so focused on being right, wanting to correct the person they’re talking to, or even one-up them, that they can’t genuinely relate to or comprehend what is being shared. Knowing how awful this feels when it happens to you, how well do you think you do at understanding others? If you’re like most people, there’s probably room for improvement. And if you can master your ability to understand, you can greatly improve your communication skills.

Why was I pretending that my talent, my skill, and my art, was worth less than what others could do? Worthless. And if I was pretending that my skill was worthless, then I was also pretending that a large part of me was worthless too. And those were the weeds I was watering. After that, when someone paid me a compliment, I got better at saying, “Thank you”. But I wasn’t great at it. Many times, I would just smile and stay silent. So, over the years, those weeds I was watering would grow and begin to suffocate my life.

Did you know that your happiness is also a product of your emotional intelligence? Which means your happiness is an indicator of your emotional health and well-being. And if happiness is both a contributor to your emotional intelligence AND a product of it, then there’s a lot within your control when it comes to nurturing your sense of well-being.

If you’re like most people, you’re conditioned to believe that trust is earned. Which means that prior to knowing someone, you would mistrust them. But that’s not how it actually works. That thinking is backward. See, trust ISN’T earned. It’s given. And we give it freely every single day.

What you believe has consequences. Because what you think affects how you feel, and that affects your behavior. And studies have shown that when we have gaps of information about people and events, we tend to fill in those gaps with negative stories. And negative stories lead to challenging feelings, which can lead to self-defeating actions. And those self-defeating actions fuel more negative stories, leading to more challenging emotions, and more behaviors that we end up regretting. And on and on it goes.

Being vulnerable allows us to be our true self, to live honestly, with all our insecurities and inadequacies on display. As scary as that may sound, it means we no longer have to carry the weight of trying to hide them.

Everyone wants to be seen. Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to be valued. Everyone. But how can you be more intentional about living a life that sees, hears, and values others? And how do you know if you’re being seen, heard, and valued?