This One Hurt
A while back, my life took an unexpected turn, and a decision was made that shook everything I thought I could count on.
I lost a job I had built my career around—and with it, so much more. My income, professional relationships, my network, respect, sense of worth, and even my sense of self were gone.
But hardest of all, I lost a friendship with someone I deeply cared about.
There was no explanation, no closure. Just an ending so sudden, I couldn’t see a way forward.
Now, I’m not writing this to paint anyone as a villain—because I don’t see them that way. In my coaching, I teach that people do things for their own reasons, not ours. And sometimes, we’re not given those reasons, even if we wish we could know why.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
— Haruki Murakami
At first, I didn’t understand the difference between pain and suffering. Pain is the heartbreak, the loss, the feeling of the ground shifting beneath your feet. Suffering is what we create when we hold on to what we can’t control, replaying the pain in our minds over and over.
And for a while, I was doing exactly that—wallowing in self-pity, ruminating on every detail, replaying every conversation, and constantly hoping for an explanation that never came. I stayed stuck in my suffering far longer than I needed to, clinging to what I couldn’t change.
Eventually, I realized I had a choice: I could stay there, trapped in that cycle, or I could take a step forward and start living my life again.
It wasn’t easy, but accepting what had happened was one of the most powerful and freeing acts I’ve ever done. I had to believe in myself, trust in what I could build, and refuse to compromise in uncovering my purpose.
And here’s the thing: I had no idea that moment of pain—devastating as it was—would strip away everything holding me back and force me to confront what truly mattered, discovering my purpose and all the incredible things I’ve gained since.
The Beautiful Road After
When I look back on that time now, I’m overwhelmed by how much I’ve gained because of it.
Without that event, I wouldn’t have started a mountain biking YouTube channel, found a riding community, or created Ride & Shine, a mental health event for the MTB community.
I wouldn’t have met some of my dearest friends or made connections I can’t imagine not having in my life. I’ve rekindled old friendships and gained clarity about who was always for me, regardless of what my professional role could or couldn’t do for them.
That moment also set me on a path to creating a full-time coaching business, writing a book (coming out this year!), starting a podcast, and helping others find clarity and purpose in their lives.
The fact that you’re even reading this newsletter is because of how I grew from that pain.
And now every morning, I wake up knowing who I am, where I’m going, and why I’m going there. And all of it is focused on one mission: helping you Rescue Your Dreams®.
Pain is a Teacher
Recently, I found out that my friend had passed away. It’s a strange feeling knowing that any hope of fairy tale closure is now gone forever.
But the truth is, I don’t need it.
Finding my purpose was the greatest gift I could have ever been given. That moment of loss forced me to reflect, rebuild, and reimagine my life. It set me on a path I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I miss my friend. And I’ll always be grateful to them—for their care and for setting me free when I didn’t know I was shackling myself.
So now what?
Here’s the thing: not all pain is a teacher. Sometimes pain is just that—painful. It lingers, it stings, and it feels unfair. But in my experience as a coach, I’ve been amazed by how often pain does teach us, guide us, and even free us—if we let it.
But, we’re not always the best students.
So, what about you? What’s your pain?
And more importantly, what are you learning from it?
If you’re still holding on, ask yourself: What could this pain be teaching me? What could it be freeing me from? And what would it look like to take even one small step forward?
Pain will come, but suffering is optional. The choice to move forward? That’s yours—and it’s one of the best you’ll ever make.
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Check out my new audio series, Rescue Your Dreams® A Podcast to Save the Life You Forgot You Wanted and learn how some of the best practitioners of mindfulness, intentionality, and development discover their true selves.
While you’re there, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the next one.
If you’re interested in taking your life to the next level, you can schedule a free consultation call with me to see if personal coaching would help you Rescue Your Dreams® so you can transform your reality.
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Ever upward!