You’ve Got These All Wrong
When did these become the villain?
Let’s talk about the things we’ve all been taught to be scared of:
Fear. Jealousy. Ego. Vulnerability. Attention. Anger.
We’ve been told they’re not healthy, that we’re bad for engaging in them, and that they need to be avoided or suppressed. But here’s the thing: they’re not inherently bad.
They’re just misunderstood. Like all of us.
Since we’re all capable of self-enhancing and self-defeating behavior, our goal becomes to use these things for good. Because when used properly, they really are good for you.
So, let’s face these so-called monsters of the mind and see if we can tame them.
FEAR
People love to say, “Be fearless.” It sounds inspiring, but it’s bullshit.
Fear isn’t the enemy—it’s a great survival tool. Healthy fear stops you from doing something reckless, like sticking your hand in a fire. And when you’re trying something new, fear is a sign you’re expanding your comfort zone.
Which means that fear can protect you and promote growth.
But unhealthy fear? That’s the kind that freezes you in place, or makes you run for the hills, and even whispers lies about what you’re capable of. All of these keep you stuck.
Ask yourself:
Is this fear keeping me safe, or holding me back from growing?
JEALOUSY
Jealousy gets a bad rap. People think it makes you petty or insecure.
But jealousy is just a neon sign pointing to what matters most to you. It can show you what you need to protect, like a relationship or a boundary. It can also reveal what you want to achieve—a milestone in your career, financial freedom, or even personal growth.
The trick is not to let jealousy turn into resentment or obsession. Let jealousy guide you, not rule you.
Ask yourself:
What does this jealousy teach me about what I value?
How can I channel it into something productive?
EGO
Let’s clear this up: never “check your ego at the door”. That’s stupid advice.
You need it.
Ego is the container for your sense of self, and a healthy ego keeps you grounded in who you are.
But when it’s inflated, it becomes egotism—and that’s what you don’t want. Egotism, egotistic, egotistical—they all mean the same thing: an overblown view of yourself.
A healthy ego helps you manage your instincts and ideals, stand firm in your identity, and move through life with confidence—not arrogance. So stop treating it like an unwelcome guest in your life.
Ask yourself:
Is my ego helping me stay grounded, or is it inflating my sense of importance?
VULNERABILITY
Here’s something we love to avoid because we’ve been told it shows weakness.
Wrong.
Vulnerability is strength. It’s the courage to show up as your true self. And when done with the right people, it’s the gateway to deeper relationships and authentic connections.
Unhealthy vulnerability, though? That’s when you overexpose yourself to the wrong people—those who haven’t proven to be trustworthy. You over-share.
Ask yourself:
Am I being real with the right people, or am I over-sharing in unsafe spaces?
ATTENTION
Let’s face it: we all want attention.
That’s not bad—it’s human. We’re wired for connection, and attention is part of that.
Unhealthy attention-seeking happens when we crave validation for the mask we wear, not for who we truly are. Healthy attention comes when we show up authentically, seeking connection rather than something superficial.
So don’t feel bad posting that pic on the socials. Just make sure you take your mask off first.
Ask yourself:
Am I seeking attention for who I am, or for a version I think others want?
ANGER
Anger isn’t the villain people make it out to be.
It’s a signal. It tells you when something is unjust, when a boundary has been crossed, or when something needs to change. Healthy anger fuels action—advocacy, justice, boundaries.
But unhealthy anger? That’s the kind that festers, lashes out, or burns bridges.
Ask yourself:
What is my anger asking me to protect or change?
Am I using it constructively, or letting it consume me?
So now what?
These aren’t bad things. They’re tools for life. When used well, they help you grow, connect, and live more authentically.
Now it’s your turn: What other things do we vilify? And which one of these do you need to rethink?
Shoot me a DM on IG at @adammock.lcs or reply to this newsletter and let me know!
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If you want some insight into how to grow your self-confidence, check out my new audio series, Rescue Your Dreams™ A Podcast to Save the Life You Forgot You Wanted. In the latest episode I chat with Staci Boyer about how to strengthen your self-confidence, and we even dive into resilience.
While you’re there, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the next one.
If you’re interested in taking your life to the next level, you can schedule a free consultation call with me to see if personal coaching would help you Rescue Your Dreams™ so you can transform your reality.
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Ever upward!