4 powerful steps to slay your anxiety demon.
Anxiety is a real bitch.
And it’s an incredibly challenging emotion that takes us out of the present moment and propels us into an imagined future nightmare.
Because that’s what anxiety is all about, the future. And the lack of control that we have over it.
Anxiety has the power to not just make us dread the days to come, but it also robs us of the now. We can’t be fully present when we’re focused on what may or may not happen.
But there’s hope.
We can fight this lying demon that resides in our mind by showing it the door and throwing it out on its ass.
And we do that by using an evidence-based self-regulation technique.
“Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside.”
- Marcus Aurelius
As Marcus Aurelius writes, anxiety dwells within our perceptions. And we feed it by writing horror stories of how inadequate we are to handle the challenges of life. And those words and perceptions allow anxiety to grow.
But if we have the power to write horror stories for our lives, then we have the power to write inspirational stories for ourselves as well. Stories where we have the unmatched strength to stand up to our demons.
So, pick up your sword. You’re about to slay your anxiety.
STEP 1 - LABELING
Labeling allows you to take back your mental control by naming your anxiety. Because the second we name it something, we create structure around it, a framework, something for us to grab a hold of and wrestle with.
It’s important that you’re clear about what the anxiety is and what it isn’t. So, when labeling, be sure to be very specific.
See, it’s not enough to say, “I notice I’m feeling anxious.”
*BTW, refer to the last newsletter on fusion to see why I’m saying, “I NOTICE I’m feeling anxious.”
You need to be clear regarding WHAT you’re anxious about. What is THE ACTUAL THING you fear?
Label it.
“I notice I’m feeling anxious about my birthday. It reminds me that I’ve gotten too old to live the life I always wanted.”
See that part, “I’ve gotten too old . . .”?
That’s the label.
Your anxiety isn’t about a birthday, it’s about feeling too old to do the things you wish you had done. And because you labeled it, that’s something specific you can deal with.
“ . . . I’ll be alone forever.”
“ . . . I won’t find someone for me.”
“ . . . I’ll never have enough money.”
“ . . . I’ll die young.”
“ . . . people will judge me.”
“ . . . I’ll lose my friends.”
“ . . . I’ll miss out.”
“ . . . I’ll never get another chance.”
“ . . . my kids will hate me.”
“ . . . I’ll lose my job.”
“ . . . I won’t find a job.”
Those are all labels.
And when you name it, you begin to realize that anxiety isn’t an all-consuming beast, it’s just big enough to dwell within the framework of your label.
STEP 2 - REAPPRAISAL
Reappraisal is where you take your label and begin to reframe the story of it in your mind.
And this is a powerful blow to your anxiety demon.
Because a reappraisal allows you to find a healthier narrative around the thing that’s causing you to feel anxious. It allows you to look at it from a more optimistic perspective.
Let’s take the example above, “I notice I’m feeling anxious about my birthday. It reminds me that I’ve gotten too old to live the life I always wanted.”
A reappraisal might say, “I’m so excited for my birthday! It reminds me of all the wonderful things I’ve done in my life!”
Or . . .
“I’m never too old to start something new!”
Or even . . .
“As I get older, I’m grateful for the maturity, wisdom, and knowledge I’ve gained to help me go after the things I really want!”
So, get creative and allow your mind to take in some new perspectives.
And if you’re struggling to reappraise your label, simply focus on what you may be gaining, instead of what you may be losing.
STEP 3 - DISTRACTION
In the distraction step, you’re going to create a goal around your reappraisal.
And when you’re focused on fulfilling your reappraisal, it’s hard to focus on your worries.
Thus, the power of distraction.
And when it comes to goals, did you know that we set goals for things that we know we can accomplish, if we simply do the work?
Which means most goals die of inaction.
Using our reappraisal example, “I’m never too old to start something new!” The distraction (goal) is simply to start the thing you’ve been wanting to do.
That’s it. That’s the commitment. Start the thing you want to do, because you’re never too old to.
When we create a distraction away from the fear, anxiety and worry, you’ll gain a greater sense of power and control over your life and your emotions.
STEP 4 - AMELIORATION
Amelioration. That’s a fun word, isn’t it!?
It means to improve something. It’s the act of making something better.
Act, as in, to take action.
A goal is nothing but imagination if you don't take steps towards it. And inaction has a cost that you usually pay for in fear and worry.
So, if you say you're going to work out more, work out more. If you say you're going to start your own business, start it. And if you say you’re going to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, get busy finding them.
And don’t let anything hold you back from living the life you want, no matter your age.
Remember, take consistent action, so that you can take power back, reap the rewards of your hard work, and slay your anxiety demon.
SO NOW WHAT?
So now go conquer the mountain.
Slay the demon.
And get your power back.
1. Label – Be specific about what you’re feeling. Name it.
2. Reappraisal – Flip the script and focus on the gain.
3. Distraction – Keep your eyes on the prize and set a goal.
4. Amelioration – Take consistent action and make it better.
If you’re interested in taking these steps further, you can schedule a free consultation call with me to see if personal coaching would help you Rescue Your Dreams™ so you can transform your reality.
Click HERE for my Calendly link!
Ever upward!